Things that go "thump" in the night...

Last night as I was washing my face I heard a terrible crash in the basement. Feeling brave, I opened the door to look down the stairs, just in time to see the cat running up in a panic. Thinking that the stupid cat knocked something over, as usual, I tromped downstairs--muttering to myself about cats. But when I looked in the usual places, I couldn't find anything broken or knocked over. And then I heard another noise...and then the cat ran into the room and growled...since when do cats growl? And then she ran away. And I did too.

Tyler was nearly asleep and not very happy to be woke up by the news that there must be an ax murderer in the shower downstairs. (With my clever logic, I concluded that they must be in the shower. It's always the shower.) He told me to go to sleep. I told him I couldn't sleep until I knew there was no ax murderer. He told me he'd check tomorrow. "Sweetheart," I said, "We'll be dead by tomorrow. He is waiting to chop us in our sleep." He told me that he would protect me when the man came to chop us. I told him maybe the murderer was waiting until he left for work in the morning to kill me when I was alone and vulnerable. My dear husband was quite annoyed. He finally went to look downstairs. "Don't forget the shower! Look in the shower!" I reminded.

In a few minutes he was back. Alive. And he said there was nothing. Nothing at all. I felt better, though still wondered what made those terrible noises. (Tyler claimed it was the furnace and my imagination.)

This morning, I looked in the shower. And there was the ax murderer...um, or a cat toy (one of the noisy, rattling kinds) and a big yucky dead spider. And the cat marched into the shower and growled at the spider. Uh-huh. Stupid cat.

Moral of the story: I love having a strong man to protect me from the scary noises stupid cats make while playing with spiders and cat toys in the shower.

I knew there was something in the shower...