Jack's Birth Story--Part 2

----Note: This is written primarily for the sake of me remembering and so is very long (I tried to shorten it, but I wanted to remember all the details and so, I didn't.) and has the nitty-gritty, possibly TMI tidbits (like frequent use of words like "fluid"), so don't read it if you don't want to know. For those who want the short version: I had a baby, his name is Jack. I didn't have drugs. It hurt...lots. But I feel like less of a wimp now. I love Jack. The end.----

See Part 1 here.

I had been holding off getting in the tub because I knew it had to get worse before the end and I wanted to save some form of relief for when it did. And water can slow things down and I didn't want that to happen. At some point--I had no concept of time--they checked me and said I was progressing well enough that it was probably time to try the tub. (I think I was at a 5 and 70% effaced when I got in, if I'm remembering right. I don't actually remember being checked.) So I got in and was rather disappointed that it didn't make me feel tons better. It helped me relax and sleep quite a bit between contractions, but I didn't really feel like it lessened any pain during them. My poor mom sat on the edge of the tub for a couple hours, (I refused to let her go anywhere, I wanted her right there) letting me squeeze her hand during contractions, doing her best not to get pulled into the tub by me, and keeping me from drowning when I fell asleep. As things got more intense, she says I ordered her to pray during my contractions. The moaning began to turn into more of an animal yell, at least to my ears. I began to shake uncontrollably and the contractions got worse. I remember hearing the noises I was making and not quite believing they were coming from me.

And that's when I decided I was done. That I couldn't do it anymore and I was too tired. I told my mom and the nurse that I wanted an epidural. Then I told Tyler the same thing and he told me I couldn't get one, which is what I had instructed him beforehand to say. I told him I didn't care what he said, I was going to get one. And if I could have reached him, I might have punched his head. I was not pleased. (Yes, I was in transition, though I was sure I wasn't and still had hours and hours ahead.)

It was just then that my midwife arrived. (The nurse hadn't called her till then, which kind of annoyed me at the time, but I really did fine without her up till transition.) I wanted to hug her, I was so glad to see her. And I immediately told her to get me an epidural. In her calm, kind way, she suggested that she check and see how I'm progressing and then we can decide. I agreed, thinking I'd be like a 6 and was surprised when she told me I was at 9. She had me try one push and I went to 10. So, they got out a birthing stool for me to sit on and I waited for the urge to push...and waited. And waited. All the while, having intense contractions that caused my legs to jump and shake like they were possessed. After awhile and still no urge, Merrilyn decided to check me again to see if something was preventing it. Turns out my water had never broken all the way and there was fluid in front of his head. She asked me to push for a second while she watched what happened. I guess I pushed really hard because there was a loud pop and an explosion of amniotic fluid...right in her face. It felt so huge to me that for a second I thought it was the baby. (and I thought, "wow that was easy!") The poor lady was dripping in lovely fluids and was perfectly calm about it. I was so startled by it all, I managed to ask in the middle of a contraction, "Does that happen to you often?" To which she replied, "A few times."

After getting that out of the way, I had the urge to push. And it felt so wonderful! It was probably the hardest thing physically that I've ever done, but in between contractions, I felt pretty good! This was when my contractions being long and far apart became a nice thing. At first I pushed using a squat bar on the bed. (isn't "squat" an ugly word?) This soon became too tiring though and I was putting too much energy into my arms instead of pushing. So Merrilyn suggested I lay on the bed with Tyler holding one foot up and the nurse holding the other, the "traditional" pushing position--which is not a typical position for giving birth naturally, but the baby's head was super low already and I was super exhausted, so being able to lay back and rest between contractions was amazing. I even took some little naps.

Everyone was very good at encouraging me during pushing. Tyler's excitement helped motivate me so much. He had a front row view and would get all excited when I was pushing, telling me that he could see the head or that that was a great push, etc. My mom would help me hold my head and shoulders up and remind me to do things the midwife had told me. Even though pushing felt great and there was alot of excitement in the room, I didn't believe that I was making any progress. When he began crowning, I could still feel him kicking inside my stomach, which made me think they must be wrong. (I should have just realized he was tall!) Merrilyn told me to reach down and touch his head and for some reason I was freaked out and didn't want to. She offered to show me his head with a mirror, which I also didn't want to see for some reason, but I finally agreed and after seeing it, was brave enough to feel the top of his head. And was excited that he had hair!

Seeing his head motivated me to hurry up and get this kid out! I remember praying between contractions for the strength to push and asking "please help him to come this one, God, please." It still took awhile. Finally, she told me I was almost there and I remember thinking that I didn't care if I ripped into a million pieces, I was going to get him out with a mighty, superhuman push. So I pushed harder than ever and I heard cheers and then Merrilyn saying "grab him, Mindy" and all the sudden there was a baby in my hands. (When his head came out, an arm immediately popped out in a way that looked like he was waving, and his body came in the next push. I had read alot of stories where it took another contraction to get the body out or a least a few pushes, so I was startled to have this baby in my hands in an instant.)

I laid him on my chest and from that moment on, ceased to care what happened to me, I was so caught up in him. (The post-birth details would be that after the cord stopped pulsing, Tyler cut it, then I delivered the placenta without even really paying attention. They had to give me some Pitocin to get the bleeding to stop, but I didn't notice that either. And I didn't have one single tear after delivering a 8 lb, 6 oz baby. I credit that completely to Merrilyn.)

And he was wonderful. I don't even have words to describe how I felt or what I was thinking, but I know I'll never forget it. I was tired and grateful and in awe of this gift God had given us.

He was absolutely perfect.

And we were completely smitten.

One of the things I loved about our hospital is that their policy is that the baby stays skin-to-skin with the mom for the first hour and unless there's an emergency, they don't really bother you after making sure he's doing ok. So we cuddled and spent time getting to know him for an hour and he nursed for a little while. Then after Tyler had some time holding him, they checked him out and then my family came in to see him. (Jen and Casey had been waiting since 2am!) After, we stayed overnight at the hospital and spent most of the time there introducing him to friends and family who visited. (including a last-minute visit from his Mimi!) And then we got to bring him home.

And that's pretty much it! Like I said before, I was so happy with the way everything went and would hope to do it the same next time. Recovery has been great. Since I didn't tear, I didn't have alot of pain. I mainly just had sore muscles like I had worked out my entire body really hard---and I had! And my tailbone was very bruised so I had to sit on one of those little donut pillows for a couple weeks. Now, one month later, I feel 100% normal and am anxiously awaiting my 6 week appointment when I get the ok to work out. (It's summer and I want to get in shape for going to the pool!)

Right now I'm just loving spending every day with my boy. Being his mommy is the best!