The week leading up to my due date, I was having harder contractions. Sometimes they were consistent for a short time, but nothing ever came of it. On Thursday, the day before my due date, I had an appointment with one of the midwives. She checked me and found that I was already dilated 5 cm! That was so exciting to me--knowing I was halfway there already. Since I had progressed so far, she decided to sweep my membranes to hopefully help move things along. (which is not a super-comfortable experience, though it didn't hurt as much as I expected) She was pretty confident I wouldn't go past the weekend. All afternoon afterward I had cramping and semi-painful contractions. That evening they got closer together for awhile, but then spread back out again. We decided to go to sleep while we could. And Tyler decided to work from home the next day, just in case.
Throughout the night, I had contractions painful enough to wake me up. I have no idea how many, since I fell right back to sleep as soon as each passed. When I woke up at about 7 the next morning I was still having decent contractions but they were like 10-15 minutes apart and didn't hurt too bad. Just in case, between contractions I finished packing my stuff, brushed my teeth, got dressed, forced myself to eat a peanut butter sandwich, stuff like that. Then I began to rotate between bouncing on a exercise ball and walking in circles through our house, all the while timing my inconsistent contractions. Tyler decided not to work and instead packed the car, all ready to go, complete with towels covering my seat in case my water broke and a bowl in case I barfed. I was sort of annoyed at him for all this preparation, I wasn't even sure I was having the baby today and all this stuff was making me feel some sort of pressure to do so, lest the car packing be wasted.
Jack got up and Ty fed him breakfast, while I continued to pace. Though the contractions weren't getting any more consistent, they had gotten strong enough that I needed to kneel/squat/get on the floor in some way during them and focus through. Eventually Tyler called my sister to come help with Jack so he could time the contractions for me. I spent a couple hours pacing up and down our hallway, stopping with each contraction to squat or kneel against the chair in our family room. Sometimes they would be 5 or 6 minutes apart for awhile but then I would go 10 minutes without one. The inconsistency made me feel unsure that this was the real thing. I also felt like I was handling them too well for them to be the real deal. With my labor with Jack, I had a really hard time coping once active labor began. Between contractions we'd debate whether we should call the midwife. I was annoyed that I didn't know whether I was really in labor or not. I HAD had a baby before. You'd think I'd know! But I really didn't want to get to the hospital and be stuck there waiting around. I knew given how dilated I was that they would admit me. I didn't want to pay to spend a whole day waiting for labor to pick up.
As lunchtime approached, Tyler called my mom to come watch me and see what she thought. I was still coping really well, though little things were beginning to annoy me. Jack and Jen were watching Madagascar and the noise from the movie was starting to bug me. Tyler not paying attention a couple times and missing the beginning of a contraction made me mad. And when my mom came and brought them pizza, I demanded that they take that horrid smelling pizza out of the room. I still felt unsure about going to the hospital, but the fact that it was quieter there was beginning to sound appealing. I was also starting to get nervous about the 20 minute drive and having to sit in the car. The contractions became a bit harder and I started to feel the need to kind of moan through them. My mom suggested I at least call the on-call midwife and see what she thought. So I called the midwives office and they said she'd call me back soon. While waiting for her to call, things began to change a bit more. I started shaking and feeling like I might throw up. I also got really hot. All the sudden I just knew I needed to go the the hospital--now! I told Tyler and my mom and they got me out the door and into the car really fast. I think they could tell that I really needed to get there.
In the car, contractions were coming exactly 5 minutes apart. It was really hard having them in the car and wearing a seatbelt and not being able to move, plus adding in the bumps and curves from the road. I told Tyler to pray, cause I didn't know how I was going to make it there. He said "Ok." and then apparently was praying to himself and then I yelled for him to pray out loud! Even though it was hard and I was beginning to have trouble dealing with the contractions, I was still pretty with it. I begged Tyler to stop speeding. He pointed out that this was like the one time that no cop in his right mind would give him a ticket. I told him that if we got pulled over the cop might give me a ticket for violent behavior---if anything slowed us down getting to that hospital I was going to kill whatever got in the way. My midwife called when we were halfway there and I told her we were on our way. When we pulled up at the hospital I felt kind of awkward because since it was daytime there were tons of people all over. I managed to walk all the way up to labor and delivery and stay pretty calm and quiet for the contractions I had while in the elevator and at the L&D desk.
When I walked into my room I had two thoughts. First, from the reaction of the nurse, I realized I must really be pretty far into labor. She said "Oh wow, I think we're going to be moving pretty fast!" and jumped into high gear, calling extra nurses to help. And I was introduced to the young nursing student who was helping the nurse and I thought "I think I'm going to scare her." (And I'm pretty sure I did, poor girl!) I changed into a lovely hospital gown, which was very short-lived--if you know what I'm getting at. (I get very hot during labor and clothes just don't help!) And things pretty much went into high gear quickly. The nurse checked me and I was at 7cm and 100% effaced. My mom got there and I was pretty much in full-blown transition. Despite the increasing intensity of things, I was surprisingly with it and calm between contractions for awhile. I was telling my mom and Tyler that this really wasn't so bad, that it seemed too easy and that I think that if this is the way future labors would be, that I wanted to have lots of children! I think Tyler was a bit startled by that, especially since with Jack I was questioning how anyone did that more than once and saying I never wanted to have another baby ever again.
My midwife, Kala, (who, random fact, is barely older than me. I think that's kinda cool!) got there at some point--I don't remember exactly, as I was pretty much entering the labor zone. Unlike Jack's birth, I actually labored on the bed the whole time at the hospital. Partly because things were moving so fast I didn't have time to feel like I needed to move elsewhere and partly because they were still doing all the initial things for the first half---monitoring Liam, giving me IV fluids cause I was very dehydrated and taking my blood like a million times cause they did it wrong--and leaving a HUGE bruise from one poor vein getting blown out. Getting your blood drawn while having contractions in one way is easy cause it's the last thing you're paying attention to and yet it is also very annoying--I was ready to smack the nurse for grabbing my arm. Though I was on the bed the whole time, I was not laying still. (All this moving around combined with my noisiness and lack of clothing is I think what scared the little student girl. Tyler said she kept backing into the corner whenever they didn't need her.) I had an exercise ball up there and was leaning over it, I leaned on the bar that attached to the bed, I was all over the place, eventually wearing myself out enough that I decided to lay on my side since I was tired and afraid of not having energy to push. As each contraction began I would call Tyler and grab his hand. He said he was afraid at one point that I had dislocated his finger, I was squeezing it so hard. He was really amazing throughout the whole thing though. He was right there with me, despite all the fluids coming out and me trying to break his hand. He was very laid back about it all, unlike last time where he was kind of freaked out. I was very into hand-holding for some reason. I held Tyler's hand in one hand and either Kala or my mom's in the other. I remember being worried about hurting their little hands, unlike Tyler's! I was super noisy--vocalizing really really helps me. Kala helped me by vocalizing along with me, helping me keep my voice in my lower register which weirdly helps things move downward. It sounds totally bizarre but when I'd start out moaning all high-pitched and tense and then copy Kala's deep voice I could feel movement downward in my stomach. So weird, but it works!
I could really feel what was going on inside. I could feel Liam pushing downward with every contraction and even though I wasn't fully dilated I was getting intense urges to push. There was just so much pressure every contraction. Kala told me I could do whatever felt best. Though I knew it hadn't been very long, I felt like things were taking too long. I wanted my water to break so things would move faster. I remember asking her "Why? Why won't it break!?" and she told me that I probably ate a lot of protein during my pregnancy and that made it strong. I said "Well if I could go back, I'd only eat sugar so it would break already!" She checked me and I was pretty much completely dilated, we were just waiting for him to come down, which would probably take my water breaking. I started pushing some during contractions to try to get it to break. After I don't know how long--I think it was probably a few minutes, but it felt like forever to me---my water finally broke in a giant wave that splashed all over, including Tyler and my mom. So then the pushing began. I was pretty noisy during labor and I got even noisier during pushing. They told me to try to be quiet and direct that energy into each push, but I couldn't. I think I actually screamed at one point, which is something I vowed never to do during labor, but it was what helped at the time. I remember feeling like what I was doing was really ineffective, though I could feel him moving down. I think I even asked Kala whether I was pushing efficiently. I guess what I was doing worked though, because all the sudden he was there! He was crowning, they told me he had a ton of dark hair and the pressure was so intense I decided to just get him out of there. I remember thinking with how fast this was happening that I would probably tear a lot and deciding I didn't care. I just wanted that pressure gone.
And all the sudden, there he was on my stomach, instead of in! I just remember him being put in my hands and saying "Thank you God!" and being so in awe that I was done! Even though I felt him come out---a feeling I don't remember with Jack and what has to be one of the strangest, yet coolest things ever---I was so shocked to be holding him already! It was 3:09. We had arrived at the hospital at 1:00. My water had broken at 2:45. I had only pushed like 4 times. It all happened really fast, though in the moment it felt longer. And he was amazing. He just lay there probably trying to figure out what the heck just happened to him. They were trying to get him to cry because they wanted that to help get any fluid out but he was so calm it took them a lot of poking to get him mad. He had more hair than Jack does now! It was just so hard to believe that God had given me another one and he was right there looking at me! It's so strange how you can fall in love in a moment. Your babies are like this brand new little stranger, yet you know them. He also felt so tiny to me. I could tell the second I held him that he was smaller than Jack had been and he was by a pound and an inch. He was, and is, just one of the best things ever. His Daddy and I were instantly smitten with him and couldn't take our eyes off him. Tyler even was hesitant to cut the cord because he was so busy looking at him. (I love the way he loves our boys. He is not a crier. I've seen him tear up maybe 4 or 5 times in the years I've known him and 2 of those times have been the moment he first sees our babies.) Liam started rooting around almost right away and latched right on to nurse for the first time like a champ. And ever since he's loved to eat. Almost too much, as he'd really love to eat every single hour!
I was expecting that since everything had happened so quickly, that I would have torn, possibly a lot. I actually didn't tear outwardly at all. But, Liam came out with his arm up by his neck and on the way down that arm caught and tore my cervix and caused a small hematoma lower down. We are actually so glad his arm was up there because his cord would have been completely around his neck except that his arm was in the way. I didn't even know his cord was around his neck until Tyler told me later and I saw pictures. We see God's protection over him in where he had his arm and also in the fact that labor moved quickly and my water stayed intact until the end--all factors that helped keep that cord from wrapping tighter around him. So, after my hour of cuddling my boy, Kala had a doctor come to sew me up. (Though it was something that needed to be taken care of, it wasn't urgent as I wasn't bleeding terribly.) It took an hour of work to fix me up and they almost took me to the OR because they were having trouble seeing everything. Before they started they offered me a drug so I wouldn't feel the pain and I said yes please. Once my baby isn't in there, I will take anything that will help! I was feeling a little nervous because I don't generally interact with drugs well and the side effect was dizziness which is never fun. But I felt awesome. I felt like I was spinning but not in a nauseous kind of way, more like I was on the teacup ride. I even told them that. Tyler said I was acting so high. The doctor and Kala kept apologizing and being all worried that what they were doing was painful. I kept telling them not to worry and that I felt really good. I think I commented once that I felt like a car, with all the lights and tools and people working on me. They got everything all fixed finally and I really had less pain in recovery than I expected. I hurt more than with Jack, but I still felt pretty ok and was able to be up and around somewhat by the next day when we left the hospital. I still walked out of the hospital, no wheelchairs for me!
So anyway, that's my story. It was a very quick and very smooth birth and was just what I had hoped for. I'm very grateful. Tyler says that next time he is getting me to the hospital sooner. In retrospect, we cut it pretty close. One of my midwives, Merrilyn (the one who delivered Jack) visited me the day after and said she was very glad my water didn't break at home or in the car, as she was pretty sure I would have delivered Liam wherever I was when it broke! That would have been an exciting story! (But this one was much more peaceful and caused much less damage to our carpet/our truck's interior than the other situation would have!) This birth really has just made me even more in awe of birth in general and really I loved the experience. My mom used to say to my dad after each time giving birth "I can't wait to do that again!" and I used to think she was crazy but that's how I feel after this time! (Pregnancy itself is another story, birth and especially the baby, yes please.)
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